Memento Mori.
works and such
After walking through downtown as the riot began to peak, I made sure to get home and hid until my friend left and soon after called me to check out the streets. I walked a few blocks but was most amazed when only a couple of blocks from my place I found the entrails of downtown Vancouver leaking closer to home. Months later I’m still not even sure how to speak of the event, but I found something I posted on facebook the morning after that at least encapsulates how I felt then.
“i am appalled and disheartened. how are you to trust a community that will attack itself enacted almost as a means of entertainment. was nobody listening when our gift of public school systems tried to teach humanity and good morals? sure the ideal upbringing is rare but if you’ve got anger seek out a means that your self doesn’t affect the well-beings of your neighbours. we are not entitled to more than our human rights and last night an arrogance was shit on the face of what i would say is why we are fucking lucky to live in this country. if you have looted you have disappointed. if you have attacked you have hurt. if there is any say for reality i hope its going out and seeing how we can help today!”
I only took one shot that night on some 4×5…
andre rival (please forgive the lack of accents…my keyboard is broken)
This is the image I made the previous post’s images from. The experience of seeing those images and going back to comparing the original is fascinating. I feel the urge to scrutinize myself as if the asymmetry is imperfections. Seeing the original image and then seeing the composites has also made people say it’s as if they are twins/triplets. My face (or really any face) has the ability to be seen as a different person, it’s as if the ‘resemblance’ is uncanny.
Personally though, they creep me out.
I wanted to see the two in me….
So I photographed myself and considered a straight reading of my own face. I considered our face as a tool for identity and began describing the mirror stage with my Left/Right, Right/Left work, in that discovered how asymmetrical faces really are. It’s not only the factor that we know our left and right opposite to the perception of others around us (or in artsy terms ‘the other’), but that not feeling whole in oneself can be possibly described by the tension in our faces; the very tool we biologically rely on for communication. So I composited two faces from each side of myself.
I regret my fear
of allowing myself to be happy
of feeling pain
of being honest
of speaking openly
of regret
of making mistakes
of making choices
of being clear headed
of becoming clear headed
of not being successful
of being helpless
of confidence
of being responsible
of being caught
of being not what others want
of not being helpful
of not being able to help
of not being acknowledged
of not being loved
of not giving enough love
of being hurt
of being abandoned
of becoming my father
of losing my mom
of not learning more
of being stuck
of becoming corporate
of wanting selfishly
of myself
of being by myself
of being myself
of losing myself
of face
of losing face
of losing passion
of losing hope
of losing love
of uncertainty
of deception
of truth
of losing
of getting up
of going by
of being
let’s see how long this lasts…..
